on the man (or [my?] self-importance)

Music: Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan & Michael Brook: Night Song (1996)

I had been warned some weeks ago that the Fire Marshal was citing my office as a violation of fire code. I had assumed I would receive an official letter or something on paper, specifying exactly my violation and what I needed to do to comply. Instead, I received an "official" forward of a series of emails with vague demands. I present them to you, dear blog readers, in their complete, fuzzy absurdity:

From: ------.
Date: Mon, 05 Nov 2007 21:51:59 -0600
To: [all my bosses]
Cc: [the dean]
Conversation: SFMO Inspection Report Fire Violation @ CMA Rm.#7.126
Subject: FW: SFMO Inspection Report Fire Violation @ CMA Rm.#7.126

[Josh's Bosses]:
I am forwarding the UT Fire Marshal recommendation for Josh Gunn's office. The visit from the UT safety office was in response to the State Fire Marshal's Inspection. This was a spot audit of our building, so every office was not inspected.

If you would inform Josh of the violations and have him comply by the end of the month. The UT safety office will have to inspect Josh's office again, before the violation can be cleared. I would like to have this resolved before the holiday break in December.

Let me know if you have any questions,
Thanks,

[signed college building manager]

------ Forwarded Message
From: [FIRE SAFETY INSPECTOR]
Date: Mon, 5 Nov 2007 11:28:18 -0600
To: [College Building Manager]
Conversation: SFMO Inspection Report Fire Violation @ CMA Rm.#7.126
Subject: FW: SFMO Inspection Report Fire Violation @ CMA Rm.#7.126

A Good Monday morning to you [college building manage] and how are you doing today? On Friday I forwarded a copy of these pictures taken at CMA to the Fire Marshal and he totally agrees with my request to remove the combustible materials on 3 walls to comply with the State Fire Marshal's Inspection (SFMO) report. If the user of this office disagrees with this request, then we can take this further on up to the Dean's Office. The code only allows a minimum of no more than 20% of an aggregate wall space to be used for materials. We will allow adequate time for the removal of the combustible materials. Also, candles even though not lit are unauthorized in UT facilities. If you have any questions, please give me a call #471-7989. Thanks so much for your assistance on this matter. [fire safety inspector]

From: [Fire Safety Inspector]
Sent: Friday, November 02, 2007 3:58 PM
To: [University Fire Marshal]
Subject: SFMO Inspection Report Fire Violation @ CMA Rm.#7.126

FYI
[Fire Marshal] ! I made a visit to CMA in reference to the SFMO inspection report identifying fire violation/s FINDING # 5: -----. Building Manager at CMA had met with ------- [some other person] sometime back in April as he made a follow up visit. So as my follow up, I took these pictures of what the room actually looks like to support the SFMO fire violation finding. One wall has a book shelf with storage on top to the ceiling and the other 3 wall surfaces are covered with posters, other combustible materials and a candle on top of a filing cabinet.

SFMO Repot: FINDING #5

Offices are not permitted to have extensive fuel loads. The extensive combustible materials in this office will fuel a fire, endangering occupants and hindering fire department suppression efforts.

REMEDY: Remove the extensive combustible materials to an amount typical of business offices. # 7.126

NFPA 101, Life Safety Code Chapter 10.2.5.3 Bulletin boards, posters, and paper attached directly to the wall shall not exceed 20% of the aggregate wall area to which they are applied.

I highly recommend for the individual assigned to this office remove the excessive combustible materials from the other 3 walls in this room. I've talked to Jackie Smensky the Building Manager and told her I would get back with her once you've had a chance to review the pictures to help remedy this situation.

Thanks [fire safety inspector]

[Here is a gallery of the ALARMING! photos he took and forwarded to everyone and their brother in the college.] All of this, after almost three years with out much more than a peep. They first asked me to remove posters from the ceiling last semester. I did that. Now they want me to "remove combustible materials" from three of four walls? What are those? How many? I phoned this very alarmed fire inspector safety person and asked. He said, "all materials must be removed." I said that in the email, it said I would only have to remove items to the level of a "typical business office." What is that? I asked. "20% of the wall," he said. Given the small size of our offices, I said I could not think of ANY office in the building that only had 20% coverage. "Yes, but yours is excessive," he said. I said it sounded a bit like the obscenity debates. I requested a meeting, in person, so that he could point to what exactly needed to come down, and perhaps point out the offices of colleagues who were in compliance, so I had a point of reference.

Now, resisting the Fire Marshal is very much a lost cause; it's not something I really want to waste a bunch of energy on, because if I fight this, I will lose. Even so, this is really about the politics of excess (which is my point, if there can be said to be a point, about wall decorations) and less about fire; more about someone's self-importance, and less about death and destruction. There are many homologies here in respect to world conflict, but I don't want to draw them lest my own self-importance be read as . . . "over the top."