nuggitude

Music: Roxy Music: Viva! (1976)

• At the behest of the dean, in the department we are knee-deep in discussions about envisioning the future: who are we, what do we do, and what to we want to become? The "Rhetoric and Language" area that I am a member of (as opposed to "Organizational Communication" and "Interpersonal Communication") has met a good bit---if not too much---and developed some excitement. The trouble is that when the larger faculty gets together, some juniors are terrified to say anything aloud for fear of hurting the feelings of seniors. I don't get it. I posted my thoughts to the entire faculty and one junior colleague commended the post as "courageous" and "risky." I am starting to worry that I am too stupid to negotiate the careful politics of a department that had a tumultuous and difficult 1990s. Is it just my department, or is there something of a "culture of fear" among pre-tenured junior people from really speaking up and out in the governance of departments?
• Yesterday Brooke and I saw Pan's Labyrinth. Because I am, well, a sensitive boy, I sobbed a good bit during the movie. It's somewhat embarrassing walking out of a theatre and looking like you've been to a funeral, especially when the young women around you are laughing and making jokes at the end of the movie. I was glad to see my date was weepy too. In any event, Pan's Labyrinth was nothing short of brilliant, worthy of the accolades it has received. Too much of the violence was gratuitous (there was no good reason for a lot of the graphic sadism, and the fascist character was too one dimensional to be believable, but I know horrible people did exist). I have a very short list of films that are on my "do not watch" list. My list has two parts: brilliant and good films that are too upsetting to see again, and bad films that are so bad I never want to see them again. Like Natural Born Killers, Pan's Labyrinth is a very, very good film that is too upsetting to watch again.
• Speaking of Pan's Labyrinth, I remember saying something so naive in the car on the way home, but it is something that nevertheless I think when I learn about bad people: I just cannot fathom any capacity for inflicting pain on someone. I mean, I can be ugly and mean to people (who cannot?) and I know I am manipulative at times (which I don't realize until after the fact or when someone points it out), but enjoyment of self-conscious sadism simply baffles me. Brooke said that we don't know what others (or ourselves) are capable of in extreme situations, which is the lesson of Pan's Labyrinth. This is true, I guess. I don't wish extreme situations on anyone, then.
• Speaking of faculty meetings and movies that make me cry (and a litany of other things), I wish I wasn't so sensitive as a person. I dunno if it's an insecurity thing or an only child thing or what. It's the main thing I work on in therapy, but the shrink has been urging me to own-up to my sensitivity and embrace it. I guess so. I think this is related to my hatred of Colin Oberst.
• Speaking of people who annoy me, is anyone else out there tired of Nora Jones? Jesus, her cute face is everywhere and on everything. I remember I really enjoyed the first album and played it constantly. And then even kind of liked the second album. But now her music and cuteness are starting to make me barfy inside---like eating too much cotton candy.
• I think we have found a new daddy for Cosimoto! We're finalizing the details, but I can honestly vouch for the potential adopter. The little guy is sitting in my lap right now. I've really enjoyed Cosi and don't want to see him go, but the ante is upped: we now have another Devon at the shelter one day away from euthanization. The rescue person I work with said that he's in the injured section, so he may need some serious care---we shall see. I didn't think when I signed on for rescue I would have many of these guys to help---even the shelter folks say Devons are "very rare"----but, I suppose it comes in waves? I'm happy to help out. Sometimes I wish I was more like my colleague Dana: in the streets protesting, rallying, and so on, to save human beings from death row. Saving cats is nothing compared to saving human beings, but it’s a good thing still.
• Brooke and I had a yummy dinner last night at a local tex mex joint with funky decour and renowned margaritas. One of my favorite students works there and, to our delight, we found our entire meal comped when we got ready to leave. Wow. This student is an "A" student with no need for extra credit or anything, so the gesture was especially nice. A surprise joy. Brooke said she felt like she was dating a "mafia boss."
• Two of my best friends got tenure track job offers: Mirko at Converse College in South Carolina, and Shaun at North Texas. I'm so tickled, as my mother would say. Now that Shaun has job security here in Texas, I have two best friends within a short drive (Christopher is at A&M). Given that and a number of other things, Austin is a great place to be.
• I've been dreaming about adopting a dog. I know that I should not, and so I will not, because I travel too much and I have no yard. I like standard poodles (good for my allergies) and really like the Huge Dog, but I reasoned if I got a dog I would be ok with a minipin or a French Bulldog. My friend the Master Piercer Jen has a great minipin, Isis, and one night when I was sleeping over I shared my bed with a chummy (if not snore-y) French bulldog that was a real trip. The French bulldog belonged to her boss, who, with her partner, are major underground porn stars (the partner is a female-to-male transgender exhibitionist). Ok, yes, French Bulldogs and unusual porno are associated in my head, but I'm only on my second cup of coffee.
• Because I got my tax returns last week, I splurged on a lot of household cleaners, a car tune-up, and two CDs: the new Bloc Party album and the new Skinny Puppy album. The Bloc Party stuff is good, but less 80s sounding than the debut and more guitar-y. The Skinny Puppy Mythmaker is excellent, but not as good as The Greater Wrong of the Right. The new album is all about the Bush administration (and a pretty nasty critique). My favorite refrain from the Skinny Puppy album is a song in which a heavily manipulated voice sings, "Jesus wants to be ugly, Jesus wants to be ugly . . . ."
• I'm trying to locate a short story by W. Hartenau (a pseudonym of Walther Rathenau) titled "The Resurrection Co." for a book chapter I'm writing with Dale on Jack Spicer. Larry Rickels writes about the story in his Nazi Psychoanalysis series. Apparently a phone company figures out a way to service the dead, and they start calling each other like crazy---eventually prank calling the living as well. This story was published in 1898, and so it gives an early voice to the fantasy of talking to souls that new technology catalyzed. Dale are going to argue Spicer's fascination with ghosts and poetry as channeling presaged posthumanism by many decades.
• For the organizational communication guest speaker series this year, Majia Nadesan from Arizona State came and spoke last Friday. She's writing a book on governmentality, a follow-up to her book Constructing Autism. She presented on brain research vis-à-vis Foucault. Wow, an amazing talk and something many of our rhetoric grad students would have enjoyed if they bothered to show up (alas, Obama was in town and speaking at the same time). I am thoroughly convinced that I have no idea what organizational communication is anymore. I thought I knew, but clearly I am an ignoramous. After her talk, I worried perhaps rhetorical studies is the wrong field for me. The only other time I felt this was for three years at LSU, when I realized I could have been a performance studies person and been just as happy. Rhetoric is so culturally conservative.
• Speaking of speakers, my advisor Robert Lee Scott is coming here to give a talk on April 6th. I'm thrilled.
• Ok, that's enough nuggitude. I need more coffee.