another textbook teaser
Music: Coil: Horse Rotovator (1986)
I have spent most of the weekend writing letters of recommendation and trying to squeak out more of the public speaking textbook. I wish I had more hours in the day to get work accomplished; my pace has slowed significantly in the last couple of years on my scholarship. I blame the various administrative speed bumps that start appearing in one's path approaching and passing through associate-hood. Anyhoo, how does one make the exciting topic of "selecting a topic" more excited? Well, you do the hokey pokey, of course!
Don't Be Cruel: Selecting a Speech Topic
Word experts tell us that the term “hokey pokey” (or “hokey cokey”) is derived from that famed magician’s incantation, “hocus pocus.” “Hokey pokey” was also slang for wax ice cream wrappers before the invention of the ice cream cone. Today, however, the hokey pokey refers primarily to a participation dance song most of us grew up with. The famed Denton, Texas polka-rock band, the Brave Combo, have made their unusual, “go-go” arrangement of the “Hokey Pokey” as staple in their live shows. The moment the dapper lead singer Carl Finch sings the first line, “you put your left foot in,” audiences go absolutely nuts, sticking their arms and legs and heads “in-and-out” as they groove to the funky beat and surrender to the imperative: “Let’s do the hokey pokey!”
At first blush, choosing a topic for a public (or semi-public) speech seems as simple as doing the hokey pokey or pulling a rabbit out of a magician’s hat: you just yank! Now, the truth is that choosing a topic is as simple as doing the hokey pokey on most occasions in which you are asked to speak because, like the song, you’re told pretty much what to do--and not necessarily by a person. The venue, the audience, and the purpose of your speaking often suggest, like the imperatives to “turn yourself around,” “stick you head in,” and so forth, what topic you should speak about. For example, if you were asked to speak at the funeral of a beloved friend who passed away, the situation would demand that you talk about your friend and the life she led, not what you had for breakfast that morning (even if the visage of Jesus was burned into your morning toast).
If you’re reading this chapter, however, you’ve probably been asked to determine a speech topic for the classroom situation. The hokey pokey then takes on a whole different meaning, perhaps inspiring something of an existential crisis. As Jimmy Buffet sings, what if the hokey pokey really is what it’s all about? (That funeral speech of yours would certainly be different, that’s for sure.) Still, the anxiety produced by reducing the meaning of life to a children’s song is, perhaps, second only to the fear of public speaking and the anxiety of choosing topics. Unless your instructor limits your speech topic selection in some way, you’re probably wondering what to put out there or yank in. Read on, anxious speaker!
Picking a topic is not difficult as long as you are able to answer two basic questions: (1) what is the speaking situation? and (2) what topics are interesting and relevant to you? How you answer the first question will constrain and limit the answers you provide to the second. We’ve already mentioned how a funeral constrains what is appropriate to say. Similarly, if your supervisor at your job asked you to make a speech at the company picnic, your topic would need to be more light-hearted and community-minded than it would, say, if you were asked to present an annual report in a board room. Just remember this fundamental observation when choosing topics: context constrains!
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That's all you get for this chapter!