self-admiration, or, write-on!

Music: Robert Forster: I Had a New York Girlfriend (1994) Old reliable, a.k.a. the OED, needs an amendment for the entry on "narcissism," which is defined as "excessive self-love or vanity; self-admiration, self-centeredness." Aside from my own projection(s), in the long list of examples that follow the definition, Lindsay Lohan's condolence "statement" to the family of the late (and great) Robert Altman should be included. Apparently penned in throes of mourning just shortly after a few drinks and club-hugs in an exclusive, velvet-roped Hollywood hang, the napkin made its way to USA Today and other outlets:

I would like to send my condolences out to Catherine Altman, Robert Altmans wife, as well as all of his immediate family, close friends, co-workers, and all of his inner circle.

I feel as if I've just had the wind knocked out of me and my heart aches.

If not only my heart but the heart of Mr. Altman's wife and family and many fellow actors/artists that admire him for his work and love him for making people laugh whenever and however he could..

Robert altman made dreams possible for many independent aspiring filmmakers, as well as creating roles for countless actors.

I am lucky enough to of been able to work with Robert Altman amongst the other greats on a film that I can genuinely say created a turning point in my career.

I learned so much from Altman and he was the closest thing to my father and grandfather that I really do believe I've had in several years.

The point is, he made a difference.

He left us with a legend that all of us have the ability to do.

So every day when you wake up.

Look in the mirror and thank god for every second you have and cherish all moments.

The fighting, the anger, the drama is tedious.

Please just take each moment day by day and consider yourself lucky to breathe and feel at all and smile. Be thankful.

Life comes once, doesn't 'keep coming back' and we all take such advantage of what we have.

When we shouldn't.....

Make a searching and fearless moral inventory of yourselves' (12st book) -everytime there's a triumph in the world a million souls hafta be trampled on.-altman Its true. But treasure each triumph as they come.

If I can do anything for those who are in a very hard time right now, as I'm one of them with hearing this news, please take advantage of the fact that I'm just a phone call away.

God Bless, peace and love always.

Thank You,

"BE ADEQUITE"

Lindsay Lohan

I know the letter would double as a great example of "incompetent" as well, but I regret I see this kind of writing every semester (oh, my Writing Center peeps: I love you and I laud your efforts!). This is also a great example of celebrity graffiti. I almost mourn Lohan's public death.

What is most striking is that Leslie Sloane Zelnick, the super-star publicist known for her tenacious protection of folks like Britney Spears and Katie Holmes (both of whom fired her after---a-hem---some bad hook-ups and equally bad advice), let this writing sample reach the public! She must have gotten through the Tron-like sentry! I mean, even I know not to drink-and-email! Snorting bumps and clicking send is downright public suicide!

Unless you are Paris Hilton. Lindsay, I know Paris Hilton (in fact, many know her). You are no Paris Hilton.

I send my more heartfelt condolences to Altman's family and fans. I recognize that the deceased deserve sincerity, complete sentences, and a spell-check.