making biscuits

Music: Hammock: Chasing After Shadows . . . Living With Ghosts (2010)

Yes, the subject of my post today is also a euphemism, but, today my rockin' neighbor Mary Anne hosted a "Ladies Brunch," and I was fortunate enough to be a lady for today (you can call me "Lady Ja-Ju"). I confess my favorite meal to cook for is breakfast/brunch because I really do love eggs, among the many other breakfast foods. My contribution today included Migas, mimosas, and buttermilk biscuits. We also noshed on some fabulous sausages, fruit, cinnamon buns, and a deliciously spicy menudo (sans the tripe). Seasoned potatoes, crepes, the bounty was eye-popping and a waist-line blaster, no doubt. I had a marvelous time, and returned home for just enough time to get something on the to-do list crossed out before meeting a friend for a drink at the neighborhood bar. I'm pausing a bit to blog---at DJ K-Thang's request---before I start working on a speech I'm to give tomorrow at my lodge on the topic of virtue and friendship.

My migas turned out just a tad soggy, because I think the tomato I used was a little over-ripe. The biscuits, however, were a hit, and Kristin asked if I'd share with her the recipe. I figured I would share the recipe with everyone, because (a) making good biscuits is tough; and (b) with the help of Southern Living magazine (courtesy of my mom), I finally figured it out. Here's the secret: keep it cold.

That’s right: the key to really good, fluffy biscuits is keeping the dough frigid. You seasoned pros can probably explain this better than me, but from what I figure the trick is to make sure the leavening agent enters the oven hard and cold; the rapid heating helps to create the air-pockets that keep your biscuits from turning into hard scones.

Of course, you don't use yeast in biscuits---that's for bread-stuffs. Instead, you use butter or, as my grandmother used to use, "shortening" or Crisco. Now, Crisco is a hydrogenated fat designed to store at room temperature. In general, this stuff is bad for you, since it doesn't like to leave the body---so many of us go for butter. But Crisco does make the biscuits more light and fluffy than butter---so you might try to do half-and-half (I didn't today, but I have in the past). The history of Crisco is interesting, though (short for "crystallized cottonseed oil")---the inventor was setting out to make soap.

Anyhoo, here's my recipe for Kristin (my migas recipe is here). STUFF:

• 1 stick of cold butter (or, ½ stick of cold butter and 4 tbs. of Crisco)
• 2 ¼ cups of flour
• 2 tsp. baking powder (or just use self-rising flour and you're good to go)
• 1 ¼ cups of buttermilk
• 1/2 stick of melted butter

WHAT TO DO WITH THE STUFF:

Ok, so, slice up the butter into pats and dump them into a large bowl with the flower. Gently with your hands squish the butter into smaller pieces, until the butter/flour mixture is lumpy, like a bunch of peas. Do not squish so hard that it becomes like pie crust dough. This mixture should be pea-like and beady, not flaky. Then, stick the bowl into the fridge and chill it for at least fifteen minutes. Remember: the key is to keep it cold!

Take out of the fridge and add the buttermilk, and turn this mess into a wet dough. Take a handful of flour and mix it in until the dough becomes un-sticky enough to lump onto a cutting board. But before you do, make sure the cutting board is spread liberally with dough. Mash the mess to make it flat, adding extra flour when necessary to eliminate the stickiness. Set the oven to 450 degrees.

Using your hands or a rolling pin (I prefer the latter), roll out a 9X5 inch square of the dough. Fold halfwise, then halfwise again. Using the rolling pin, mash it out again into another 9X5 square. Do this two to three more times, BUT NO MORE. If you fold the dough too much your biscuits will be tough.

Using a glass edge, cut you some biscuits and put on a lightly oiled jelly roll pan (or a baking sheet, whatever). Fold the dough again to and roll out again to make as many biscuits as you can get. Put into the oven and set the timer to around 13 minutes. Depending on how your oven is, you may need to bake for up to 17 minutes to brown the tops to the way you like it. As your biscuits bake, melt ½ a stick of butter in a bowl.

Remove the biscuits from the oven, and immediately brush the tops with melted butter. Let them sit for a few minutes, then brush with the remaining butter.

I'm not going to pretend this is "easy," because it took me many tries to figure it out. Everyone's oven is different, and I suspect if you're like me, the dough is so fun to play with that you over fold and roll it. But with a little trial and error, you can do this! Again the key is making sure the dough is cold right until it enters the oven.

Sometimes I miss writing my food column, I must admit.