i have become a flake. i am sorry

Music: Harold Budd and Robin Guthrie: Mysterious Skin (2005)

When I was a graduate student, I would sometimes get angry at my professors for not answering my email message to them. My expectation was that they should get back to me within a day. Here, many years later, I sit as an assistant professor and a traveler who is addicted to email. Addicted. There's only one problem: I cannot feed my habit as much as I used to. After losing track of time in the hospital, and then having time speed up during three weeks of travel, email-checking became a "five minutes here," "five minutes there" process.

I have spent two hours going through and answering email this morning, messages that had piled up during my travels. Some of them I tried to answer on the road, but some I didn't get to. And so I'm trying to make sure I got to everyone, but then, I have deadlines on other items, teaching prep, needy animals, and the list goes on.

I regret I have become the flakey professor that always irritated me as a student. Now I understand. I am ashamed I got irritated then. And I beseech those of you who know me that I'm sorry if I have not responded to your email. You may want to send it again. And if you have a meeting with me, you may want to send a reminder.

I am contemplating purchasing a hand-held assistant that will beep at me to remind me of things. I have resisted thus far, but I fantasize it will help me decrease my flakiness quotient. (Another problem: I also have less time to fantasize.)