from green donkey dicks to elephant trunks

Music: mind.in.a.box: dreamweb The news is positive this Sunday afternoon: I have almost purchased a townhome in Austin, Texas pending the inspection on Monday. If the inspection goes well (viz., if they don't tell me to run, screaming), then I should be closing on the place mid-June. It is a 1400 square foot two-story thing in an area called "Old Towne," about six miles northeast of the University of Texas campus. I'd rather be living more due east or in the south Austin area, but I regret those areas were just too expensive.

The photo above is not my townhome, but rather, an "art project" in Houston one block from my pal Macy's apartment. This "vortex like" hole (their description) extends from the front of the house facing Montrose street all the way to the end of the house on the other side (yes, you can crawl through it; here is a photograph of megetting shat out of the house-gives new meaning to the evil spirit voice in the Amityville Horror: "get out of my house!"). This home is not too terribly different from a number of those we saw in my price range (viz., "shit holes" going for $130,000).

My place is more modest and less anal, although the previous owner Gloria is quite retentive. She wanted us to take off our shoes (I did not). My new colleague Loril Gossett and I toured the home and took photos last Friday, and Gloria made sure to detail every single upgrade she made in her twenty years of residence. The place is quite clean, although it reeks of mothballs. Gloria was very proud of her "reverse osmosis" water filter and sediment stirring hot water heater. Gloria also likes elephants. She likes them a lot. Indeed, she likes them so much that a lot of the wallpaper she put up has elephants on it, like the ones in this bathroom shot.

The place sits on a hill near a creek and right outside the complex pool area. The rear has a lovely concrete garden and patio (note: many of Gloria's flowers are fake), and covered parking. Downstairs is a large living room, two dining areas, and a galley kitchen. There is a corner fireplace (again, Gloria was quite proud of it!), and some built-in bookshelves. After the extensive tour (see the rest of the photos here), Gloria took me to meet three sets of neighbors. They all seemed quite friendly, and one couple had a great sense of humor (teasing they had loud and obnoxious parties all the time). I learned on one side of me lived two college students, and on the other, "Ms. Kay," an 80-something who was quite proud of her rather large kitchenette and "front yard" (her front yard, incidentally, is mine also).

I worry about Ms. Kay, because I'm a noisy neighbor. Oh, what to do? I guess headphones for the next three years . . . .