defiant petunia

Music: Lehrer News Hour

I captured this image today (click for a bigger version) as I returned home from work---or rather, I came home, was shocked by seeing a flower, got my camera and returned to immortalize it in pixels---because of what Jung termed "synchronicity." I am not much of a Jungian, so I do not believe in the validity of synchronicity, but I do believe that psychically we make the connections all the time, and that these connections are meaningful in ways that have material effects. This bloom (actually, there are two) emerged from the petunia after a week-long deep freeze. I haven't read up on petunias, but it seems to me this plant should have died with the 20-degree temps and ice-storm drama of last week. Regardless, I'm inspired by the petunia!

The homology: this morning my father called to report that my grandfather has left us. He is still physically alive, but because his heart has given out, all his organs have failed and there is significant brain-damage---so much so that the doctors are 90% sure he is not coming back. The Gunns met to decide what to do yesterday, and they decided to take him off of life support. My father said that they expected him to go quickly, but apparently he is hanging on. He will not come to consciousness ever again. We wait. What troubles me the most is that the family has decided not to have a memorial or service. My father called to insist that I not come home. It was a hard conversation.

It bothers me that there is no symbolic gathering to mourn him. The rationale is that "Papa" was strident about not wanting one, but dammit, it's not for him; it's about him, for us. It's for my father. But it's not my decision and I need to respect that.

You know, I don't want to be cliché and am not really looking for shout-outs by posting this, I just feel it would be ok (it's my blog, and I'll cry if I want to!), and I'm not sure there's a point to it all except that the point is superficial but nevertheless deeply felt. It's just an everyday thing, seeing this flower and relating it to the situation (Papa hanging on---as stubbornly as he was in life, but always with laughter). Those kinds of connections, however maudlin one might label it, are important to me.

Bleh: it's been one of those days.