babe publicus

Music: St. Britney: Oops I Did It Again . . . According to the OED, publicity is defined as

The quality of being public; the condition or fact of being open to public observation or knowledge. b. spec. Public notice; the action or fact of making someone or something publicly known; the business of promotion or advertising; an action or object intended to attract public notice; material issued to publicize.

It is curious, then, that upon announcing that they are pregnant, media hacks were on the television and radio this morning arguing that “Tomkat” (or the coupling of Cruise and Holmes) are “really a legitimate couple,” casting into question the suggestion that their whirlwind romance was a “publicity stunt" (one must keep in mind that, owing to a fairly high miscarriage rate among first time mothers, unlike this very public declaration of pregnancy, most couples prefer to wait until they are fairly far along before letting their friends and family know they are expecting).

WHO WRITES THIS STUFF? Seriously! That the whole world knew instantly Tomkat were with child should immediately lead us to wonder what parts of their lives are not scripted. I cannot think of a more pure form of publicity than folding fantasy into flowering flesh. As if making a baby was some feat of transcendent love; I know better, cause I watch Divorce Court. Television personalities were contrasting this earth shattering news of the coming Tomkat Rotunda with the break-up of Nick and Jessica as well as the Paris-ae. “Makes you wonder about true love,” some idiot commented.

Speaking of true love: I predict Katie will miscarry, and then, a very public mourning and new awareness campaign by the Today Show. November will become National Miscarraige Day, and hot pink ribbons bracelets will signify contributing to the ending of sudden illnesses that befall Hollywood cut-outs . . . .