astonishment
Music: Now It's Overhead: Fall Back Open (2004) Astonishment, I am told, is the poetic purchase of philosophy. We think (deep) thought hoping for such subtle traumas (in the coffee shop, at the grading desk, in the tub or shower, perhaps even in the seminar room), the ones that still you, however momentarily, and lead to some sort of awakening.
My graduate assistants and I are frequently astonished when we grade the journals for my Rhetoric and Popular music class. For one major assignment, students are to journal once or twice a week—-a page or more—-on a concept from class and apply it to something in their "real world." The students turned these 30-pagers in last week, and Amber, Roger and I have been reading them. Sometimes we share the sources of our astonishment with each other. I have a number of emails exchanged between us now with astonishing statements from students. Toward what kind of awakening? I am uncertain.
Out of concern for the students anonymity, I cannot share any of the astonishing comments that have alerted me to the beliefs and opinions of a handful (that is, a minority) of my students. I therefore bring tidings in paraphrase, each from a different journal: (1) this course trucks in arrogant, self-important jargon and is not worth my time (which is why I am frequently absent); (2) theory is really about elitism and showing off, not understanding the world; (3) feminists do not shave; (4) feminism is an extremist philosophy that is outmoded; women have achieved the equality they need and it's time to move on; (5) feminism is flawed because only men should be on the battlefield, period; women are physically inferior to men; (6) some of my best friends are gay, and there's especially nothing wrong with "two chicks" getting it on; (7) homosexuals are extremely sick individuals and sodomy is just as bad as raping women and Nazism; exposing students to queer theory is harmful and perverse; (8) I pay your salary, and therefore, you should not teach queer theory, feminism, or anything that I find offensive.
Of course, if the student completes the work they get a good grade, regardless of their opinions. Perhaps what is most astonishing to me is the widespread belief, often disclosed directly in a parenthetical---"(I know you guys are not reading this, but anyway")---that we do not read the journals. So far there are two plagiarizers (one lifting material directly from a google search and pasting it into the middle of his journal), which is always a surprise to me because the assignment is so darn easy. As I told the students yesterday, "yes, we do read them, and it's ok if you disagree with lecture." Nevertheless, despite my failures as a teacher for these handful of students, most do quite an excellent job. In the world of teaching, perhaps nothing is more exciting than reading about a student's astonishment . . . .
LATER EDIT: Speaking of student astonishment, it's always exciting and disconcerting to learn that they are reading my work. This beginning graduate student's reaction to an essay that my mother said was among the clearest things I've written ("I could follow it," she said) is an interesting read. Her reaction reflects that which many students penned in their journals: us academics are elistist bastards that pursue the professoriate because we wish "to be at the top." How sad the truth really is (shout-out to all my struggling assistant professor peeps: I like your elblows, the smell is---how does Borat say?---so nice).