public and private, again

Music: The Food Network (dunno the cook, cute tiny woman with really big teeth who does Italian food)

I started this post with a long, academic-ish hand wringing about disclosing personal information on a blog. I wrestle with the issue---indeed, it's a fundamental dynamic of the RoseChron. I just deleted that because I don't have much free time these days, as I'm in a hospital at the moment. I just got my laptop today.

Now, the hospital bans certain websites and facebook.com is one of them, so those of you have been sending messages for the past few days: sorry, I cannot answer you. That sort of motivated this post.

I'm being hospitalized for acute, viral pericarditis ( read here), a painful condition that feels like a heart attack. Indeed, I thought I was having a heart-attack on Monday night (heart disease runs in my family), so I woke my neighbor up and had her take me here.

It's been a long and at times very painful diagnosis, but after lots of nitro and cardiac catheterization (it's not very fun, and more than a little weird to be awake as a doctor looks at a screen of your insides), what happened was this: On Saturday I came down with a norovirus ("stomach flu"), which is no party. On Monday I thought I was all but recovered (which is typical), but then that night the chest pain started. Apparently, the virus "traveled" to my heart and attacked this too. Ugh.

It seems that this strain of virus is going around Austin. You'll know you have it, believe me, if you think you're having a heart-attack on what seems like the last day of symptoms.

Anyway, so I'm here in my "butt-free" gown eating delicious food prepared by a recent reject of Piccadilly Academy of Reheated Cuisine through at least Friday. There is some good news out of all of this: my attempts to keep my heart healthy have been, apparently, working. When I turned 30 my doctor then and I started working to prevent my genetic destiny. I remember sitting in the operating room and---when I wasn't scared shitless---getting angry: "if I have a blockage," which they thought I had yesterday morning, "it's so friggin' unfair!" During the procedure the doctor said the arteries were "smooth as a baby's bottom" (he also kept saying, "where's Waldo? where's Waldo" when searching for clot; charming, huh?). He told me my heart and surroundings look great, so that was nice.

I guess.

Well, I reckon I'm thankful to still be here. Thanks to everyone who emailed concerns. I hope to get back to blogging, my work, and teaching on Monday. This ETA, I think, is realistic. And the next post will be less Josh, more concept.